Saara’s Marital Life

Saara got married at the age of 26 to a man who was four years younger than her. She was hopeful and had so many dreams for this marriage, but it ended up with heartaches and struggles. Each passing day Saara had to tolerate her husband’s harsh words and abuses. Though these words broke her heart, her husband didn’t bother about it. This made her emotionally very weak and she felt powerless. Her husband started having extramarital affairs. He calls and messages other women while lying next to her as well. He insults her by using others’ names to call her and did everything he could to torture her mentally and physically. All her dreams and hopes were shattered into pieces by abuses that no one should endure.

There was no happiness or pleasant days in the marriage. Whenever he gets angry he would beat her up and strangle her. In many instances, he would strangle her so hard that her necklace would tighten around her neck leaving bruises and cuts. Saara is still suffering from these physical assaults. What’s worse is that all of these abuses were happening in front of her in-laws. Instead of showing her any sympathy and helping her out of the situation, the family also made her life more miserable. In the middle of all these struggles, she found out that she was pregnant. Her in-laws would harass her one way or the other and trouble her by switching off the fan in her room when she was too sick to get out of bed. All these suffering and abuses made her pregnancy a lot more complicated.

Unable to tolerate all these abuses, Saara begged her husband to divorce her many times. When she couldn’t convince her husband, she had no other choice but to go to court for a divorce for the sake of her child. Finally, after 6 long years, she was able to come out of this abusive marriage with a 5-year-old boy.

She then moved in with a sibling, who was also struggling financially. Though she dreamt of a better life for her and the child, it all turned out differently. Every day she and her child had to hear complaints about them being a burden to the family. After a lot of consideration, she decided to go for a second marriage.

A few days before Saara’s second marriage, her son fell and broke his arm while playing. Saara rushed him to the hospital, and while he was being treated, the child’s father started blaming Saara for the injury. They had an argument over this and he constantly accused Saara of neglecting the child. Despite all of Saara’s pleading, her ex-husband snatched her son away and did not give him back. However, she was determined to change her situation and get her child back.

At the age of 35, she got married to her second husband who was 47years old and had 2 children from a previous marriage. She hoped that this marriage would be different from her first one. But unfortunately, Saara had to endure several waves of abuse and hurtful experiences once again.

Not long after getting married, Saara got pregnant with his child, after which Saara’s pain and suffering increased. Saara expected her husband to be more considerate and loving when she got pregnant, but even at that time, all Saara received was taunts, torture, and abuse. He used to beat her up, hit her in the face, and verbally abuse her almost every day. These abuses were even worse than what she had to go through in her first marriage.

Her second husband even went to the extent where he had relations with his ex-wife in front of Saara, and she was forced to sleep in the same room as they did. Unable to tolerate any more, Saara moved in with a relative. Her husband did not provide any financial help during the pregnancy. During the time of her baby’s delivery at the hospital, she only had the help of her aunt. On the 3rd day after her cesarean, that’s when she got a call from her husband for the first time after giving birth he said “You are no longer my wife” and divorced her on the phone. In shock, Saara cried thinking about her child’s future as he kept refusing to see his newborn baby or do anything with them. This was the bitter end of her second marriage.

Saara again became homeless with a newborn baby and nowhere to go, so she had no option but to stay with her aunt again. With the baby, without having any financial contribution to the household expenses it soon became a burden for the family to take care of them. This led to many arguments in the house and it forced her to look for other alternatives, resulting in Saara seeking help from her ex-husband, the father of her younger child.

He agreed to help her, but on the condition that if she wanted to get any expenses for her child, she had to live in the same apartment as him. Saara agreed to his condition against her heart, and after going there, she found out that his ex-wife and children were also living there with him.

The struggles she faced now were unlike anything she ever imagined. At the same time, Saara had to endure the severe effects of black magic that was done to her. She couldn’t do any work or look after her baby, and her nights were filled with nightmares. She started getting very ill, unable to even get up from the bed. On top of all of this, she even had to tolerate humiliation and taunting from the husband’s ex-wife.

Seeing how Saara was struggling with a baby in her arms and no proper shelter or means to look after her child, the few well-wishers and friends she had, advised her to get married again. After taking some time and consideration, Saara agreed to marry a man with whom her family connected her. Though this guy was much older than her in age, he was well off and earning well, so Saara accepted that this was the best option to get her elder son back and to provide her children with a better life. At that time, Saara’s youngest child had just turned 4 months old.

She got married for the 3rd time at the age of 38, to a 58-year-old man. After marriage, she moved to her husband’s house and unlike her other abusive marriages, she got love and care from her husband. She got everything she had ever dreamt of, she thought she had finally found the man of her dreams. He helped with taking care of the baby, while she finished the chores. He was her biggest support and she could not be more thankful.

However, two months into marriage she slowly started noticing some unusual changes in the baby. He kept on crying all the time and lost his appetite. He also started losing weight significantly and this really started worrying her. The husband started spending more time alone with the baby when he was awake and he kept on telling her that it’s normal for babies to cry and it’s nothing to be concerned about. It was the beginning of her worst nightmare.

Sarah felt uneasy and shared this concern with a friend who works at Villimale Hospital. She told her that this happens a lot with a growing child and advised her to consult a doctor. During this conversation, she also mentioned that it might be a sign of sexual abuse.

Initially, she didn’t think that the problem could be sexual abuse, but as the days passed by the behavior of the baby didn’t get better. One day she saw her husband putting toys inside the baby’s diaper, which made Sarah really angry and clearly told him not to do that. He tried convincing her that it was just for fun. However, a mother’s instinct is never wrong, and she felt uneasy about what was happening. She didn’t want to completely believe her husband, so kept the baby in her sight more and didn’t let the baby be alone with the husband like how it used to be.

A few weeks later, while Saara was changing her 7-month-old son’s diaper, what she saw shocked her. There was a lot of blood in the diaper and she couldn’t believe her eyes. She was so scared she ran to the hospital with the baby in her arms. The doctors examined him and gave the most horrific news of her life. The moment doctors informed her that her 7-month-old baby had been sexually abused, it felt like her whole world crumbled down into pieces. Due to the severity, the baby’s anal was wide open with bruises. Immediate medical assistance was started.

When she connected all the dots, she realized that it was from her husband. The discovery that someone you love and trust has sexually abused your own child is extremely stressful and can bring up intense feelings of rage, shock, and guilt. Despite being tormented by self-doubt, self-blame, and fear of the abuser, she pulled herself together and confronted him. She threatened to file a complaint to the authorities about all the terrible things done to her little baby. The husband immediately denied all of the accusations and in rage, he divorced her on the spot. Once again she was left all alone with no place to go and no one to ask for help.

Upon being divorced, feeling utter, completely helpless, and having no place to live with her infant, she moved to her island. As she had no place of her own on her island, she had to live in a room in her father’s old and deserted house. Saara’s 3rd husband passed away before any action was taken against him by authorities. She managed to get custody of her elder son and brought him to live with her. Her elder son was also a victim of domestic abuse by his stepmother. He was mentally traumatized and it was clear that he needed his mother’s love more than ever.

Saara started a new chapter of her life with her two children, little did she know what was waiting for her. Everything changed when she found out that she was pregnant from her last marriage. The news was devastating, and she didn’t know how to react to it or what to do next. With Saara’s mental state at the time and the mixed emotions, she was having, she couldn’t decide whether to keep the baby or not. To bring a child of that man who ruined her baby boy’s life, was a challenging battle she had to go through. She didn’t have anyone to go and share her thoughts or get advice from. She was mentally not stable enough to decide anything, she never felt so helpless in her life. She surrendered herself to Allah (SWT) and finally was able to make a clear decision. Allah (SWT) was the only light in her miserable life, her faith gave her hope. Allah (SWT) does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. She convinced herself that the baby had no fault in this no matter what the father had done. Regardless of the challenges she might have to face in the future, she was determined to do her best to provide for the baby.